If marriage is to act in concert, one must dare to look inside the partner and to face the vision of onself he or she may have. This exercise is not to enforce on each other what I or you think is right, but actually to make honest efforts to reshape and update the image we have of each other. This is possible on condition that both parts are strongly motivated to move together in the same direction when creating their future family. The lecture will expalain how, during the obligatory course in preparation for marriage, given by the family care centre in Oslo, we try to enhance this deep mutual understanding by applying psychodrama techniques, some of them theoretically grounded on the phenomenological and dialectical personality model by Prof. Leni Verhofstadt-Deneve (Ghent University, Belgium).